As a new blogger I can count on two hands, and my feet, the number of people that follow me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and other social media outlets. That means I see very easily if the numbers have gone up or down on a daily basis. I don’t obsess over the numbers, but I can easily figure out who followed or un-followed me.
Maybe I am overly sensitive, and I should not let it get to me when someone un-follows me, since it is the online world after all, and I don’t know these people personally. However, it does get to me.
To have someone un-follow you hurts a bit…OK, more like a lot. It hurts your feelings; it hurts your spirit; it hurts your pride.
For me it hurts because I want to be liked, both online and offline.
If they un-followed me, it probably means one of two things:
They followed me through a program that has them auto follow people based on some topic, or key words, that were written. And, they un-follow me once they read my profile, or some of my posts, and realize I was not a match for them.
They followed me because of an initial post they liked. But, then they un-followed me because of some other post they didn’t like. This means they could follow me for a while and then un-follow me much later. (From what I have experienced, though, it really happens earlier rather than later down the road. The un-following typically happens within days of them following me.)
To be honest, either scenario hurts. It hurts because you want to be liked. It hurts because the online world, unlike face-to-face, is quick and unexplained. If you have a friend that stops talking to you in daily life there is a good chance you know why. Online you don’t know the “why” and you can’t fix it. You can guess the “why” but not often.
So, if you are like me, and are sensitive and want to be liked, how do you deal with the hurt if someone un-follows you?
Try and remember these:
- You are a good person.
- Even in our off-line life not everyone likes us and agrees with us.
- If they un-followed you, you can un-follow them (if you were even following them — which, if you were not, may be the reason they un-followed you…go figure).
- Just like in off-line life, sometimes one needs to clean up the clutter. If they un-followed you, it’s OK. Maybe you are being protected from something not so great down the road (in an odd sort of way).
- Try not to focus on the one or two that un-followed you but instead focus on the ones still following you and build those relationships.
- You will get over the hurt feeling. It doesn’t last that long, especially when the person who un-followed you was a stranger anyway.
You know that saying, “It isn’t you; it’s me” often times heard when someone breaks up with a person? Well, when someone un-follows you, it really is them. You are only putting out there your thoughts; your ideas; your opinions. They chose to follow you and if they do not like what they see in your posts then that is their issue, not yours.
Being un-followed definitely isn’t fun, but you will survive.