I am sitting here, in my office, at 11:53PM (or so it says on my computer), wondering how tonight went wrong. This evening we went to a concert (a Christian one) and enjoyed it, for the most part.
Somewhere between enjoying it and being bored I got frustrated. I got frustrated because these concerts have become sing-a-longs.
Don’t get me wrong. I understand that Christian concerts are also for worship, they have been for many years. However, it has escalated in the past couple of years to more worship than concert. This means they are now sing-a-longs.
When we pay $60-$80 per ticket to see an artist, Christian or not, we go with the assumption it will be us mostly listening with maybe a few singing to the songs if they know the lyrics. Now the artists put the lyrics up and ask everyone to sing.
That is when I start to get annoyed. I am not so much annoyed that they put up lyrics as much as I get annoyed by the person behind me singing at the top of their lungs out of key. Then I get antsy. Then I just want to leave.
Tonight was supposed to be a fun night. It turned into frustration and miscommunication with my spouse. He said multiple times that he would rely on me and when I wanted to leave the concert, although I did not hear him say it that many times. I also know the singing annoys him after a while.
Instead of speaking up and saying I was ready to leave the concert I was waiting for him to say something. In part because there was one song I was waiting to hear (which they ended up playing just as we left…ironic…and God probably trying to tell me something).
Thus, we had a miscommunication and barely talked on the way home.
He is now in bed and I can’t sleep. I’ve cleaned the kitchen, taken out laundry to be washed, and surfed FB.
What is the point I am trying to make with this long story?
It is that marriage is not perfect. I am not perfect. Communication and resolution don’t always come before going to bed. However, anger is wrong in God’s eyes unless it is for His purpose. I am thinking of the time Jesus turned over the tables in the temple because they were using God’s house as a bartering and trading market rather than for worship.
Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger,… Ephesians 4:26
God wants marriages to be supportive and loving. Mine is just that. It just gets blindsided every now and then with our human side (more like my human side).
By morning this will have blown over, and we will apologize, but it still happened. I still let my human side get the better of me. I let it get to my marriage.
I wish I could say I am like the Proverbs 31 woman.
She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. ~ Proverbs 31:26
However, I am not even close. She is perfect; I am far from perfect. I am a HUGE work in progress.
So, all I can do, after a scenario like this in my marriage, is to say I am sorry and try harder next time to 1) listen and 2) apologize much earlier and ask forgiveness.
That’s what God would want me to do. Try harder at being the woman who fears the Lord and acts with wisdom.
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. ~ Proverbs 31:30