As my birthday looms in front of me by a day (or just past a day by the time this posts), I sit here contemplating how my life has not gone the way I thought it to go. I made plans but none of them came to fruition.
As a child I wanted to be a dancer or a singer. Neither happened since I have two left feet and my voice is so-so. Then I wanted to be a flight attendant and travel the world. That dream ended when I found out I had to be a good swimmer in order to be able to pass the classes and get the certifications needed to be a flight attendant. By the time I was in college my plan was to get my degree, get a good paying job, and have my own home by my mid-twenties. That didn’t happen because the economy tanked each time I completed a degree.
After a few “careers” and by the time I was in my mid-thirties I was what I call a wanderer. I really had no direction. Then I met my husband. (He is my loving, patient, steadfast guy.) We got married; I had a couple years of good employment, and then “bam” along came what I am calling my Job years.
Why Job?
In the Bible, Job is a God-fearing man with a great life, family, and home. God allows the devil to take all that way because the devil believes that Job will fall away from God if he is put under strain. God knows better and wants to show that to the devil. At least, this is how I interpret the story.
“Have you not put a hedge around him and his household and everything he has? You have blessed the work of his hands, so that his flocks and herds are spread throughout the land. But now stretch out your hand and strike everything he has, and he will surely curse you to your face.” The Lord said to Satan, “Very well, then, everything he has is in your power, but on the man himself do not lay a finger.” Then Satan went out from the presence of the Lord . ~ Job 1:10-12
Although I did not have the wealth that Job had, God did give me some good jobs and watched over me while I was wandering. Unlike Job, I didn’t rely on and fear God as much as I should have. I did know when He was taking action, though, because I could see events fall into place when decisions had to be made about jobs and moving.
For me, my twenties and thirties were more about learning; about being humbled; and about learning to respect authority (in my case my managers). It became a twenty-year lesson for me. A full circle if you will.
Now I am in what I call my Job phase. No job. No solid direction. Just questions and relying on God. I know God is prepping me for something. He is working on my heart and soul and gearing me up. For what, I do not know. Only God knows. God has given me wonderful opportunities to volunteer and for that I am grateful.
Job was under the devil’s devices long enough for God to show the devil he wouldn’t win. Then God replenished Job’s life greater than what he had been blessed with before.
God has a purpose for me. In all honesty, it might not come to fruition soon. What really keeps me going is having faith that God does have a plan for me.
“God is mighty, but despises no one; he is mighty, and firm in his purpose.” ~ Job 36:5
This July will be seven years of unemployment and lack of direction. God seems to like the number seven. Maybe, just maybe, this will be the year I receive my direction and solid purpose. If not, I’ll keep going as I am and praying I see the path God has set for me. I can only pray that I have the perseverance like that of Job.
As you know, we count as blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job’s perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy. ~ James 5:11
